Moments of Leadership - Oneshots
by E21116D2CG026
Summary: Moments of Leadership name I've given to the Ralph#Jack pairing. This is all AU.
1. Jack's 'Should Do' List

Ralph was a good leader. Not very witty for better or for worse.

And in the few moments he was alone with Jack and they weren't quarreling over minor things like who had more dust particles on their side of the room, apparently Ralph felt comfortable to thing aloud much to Jack's own discomfort.

Example.

"Jack."

"What?"

"You should take up pole dancing."

There was a pause in which Jack look slightly terrified and was just about to speak.

"But not the elegant, tasteful kind. The trashy kind done in clubs. And you should let me watch."

"Ralph..."

"Only me."

"..."

"And give me a job afterwards. Not sure which one yet, though..."

"I am done with you."

END


	2. I Am a Man

The horrors that take place when Maurice, Jack and Ralph occupy the same dorm.

"Heh, hey Ralph. You ever play the, 'I Am a Man' game?"

"Hm? Nope."

"Well after everything I say, you say 'I am a man', got it?"

"Fire away."

"Kay...I woke up in the morning."

"I am a man."

"I went to class."

"I am a man."

"I met a girl."

"I am a man."

"I got her number."

"I am a man."

"I took her out to dinner."

"I am a man."

"Then I brought her to a movie."

"I am a man."

Maurice chuckled a bit, snapped out of it then continued.

No, not really, you just needed the hiatus in text.

Moving on...

"I took her to her house."

"I am a man."

"We had sex."

"I am a man."

"I woke up next to her in the morning."

"I am a man."

"And she said to me."

"I am a man."

There was a pause. Ralph poker face'd and Maurice giggled but stopped at Ralph's next set of words.

"Jack."

The ginger who was sadly in hearing distance of all of this while trying to enjoy some reasonably decent television slightly lowered the volume.

"What?"

"He knows to much, what do we do with him?"

There was yet another pause. First, staring blankly into the distance did Jack do, second, blushing and frowning did Jack do and finally, stomping out from the living room, into his own room and slamming the door behind him did Jack do.

And Ralph spoke once more to Maurice.

"Your fate is pending."


	3. Crayola's New Color

In the dorms of Fellsworthshire Academy.

Fuck yeah, makin' shit up as well as phrases to have an excuse to type swears out~

Anyhow, twas a peaceful morning, Tom & Jerry was on and Ralph idly ate from a huge bag of chips from his slumped position among the couch cushions. Not too long afterwards, Jack came in knowing the deal and grabbing a soda for him and his disturbingly amorous roommate taking a seat next to the other to watch a cat and a mouse screw each other over as well.

"Morning, Merridew."

"Morning, Gattlin. How was your day thus far?" He asked, beginning to sip on his ginger ale.

Heh, get it? He's a ginger.

He's drinking _ginger_ ale?

Yeah, I know, I'm funny like that. owo

I PUT EMOTES IN MY FANFICTIONS!

Starting over kind of because of that break...

_Previously..._

"Morning, Merridew."

"Morning, Gattlin. How was your day thus far?" He asked, beginning to sip on his ginger ale.

_And now..._

"Flaccid."

Jack sputtered and gagged on his carbonated drink, which the fact that is was carbonated only added to the agony of it going up through his nasal tunnels.

"You know," he continued "since you didn't take one of those two hour long, erotic showers that I enjoy so much."

Biting his inner lip as the heat and the color with it rose to his cheeks, Jack squeezed his eyes tight, his lips pursed and frowned as he braced himself for Jack's audible thought train to pass through and make a wreck of his own, person and far quieter train.

"And have I ever told you how much I just love the red on your cheeks? It's so vivid and unique. Mostly because you have not a single, steady concentration of melanin on your body to hinder it."

"That's," he cleared his throat in hopes of his shaky voice coming out a bit stronger. It was about 2.000097% louder than before. "Ehem...That's is, eh... part of the whole 'being ginger' package, is it not?"

Ralph, too infatuated with just how flustered this boy was paid no heed to the sound waves that sojourned though his head. From the one besides him.

"I ought to take a picture and send it to Crayola."

Jack sighed and rolled his eyes.

"And I'll call it...'Kindled Hatred Red'."

"How has this become my life?"


End file.
